Tag: ADailyNote

• A Few Notes Before August Ends

  Note 035

  

  The thoughts that stayed with me this month.

  Well…

  August, you were something.

  I’ve been writing, thinking, overthinking, watching too many YouTube videos, having conversations with my husband, reflecting on life, and apparently finding a lesson in just about everything.

  Which, if you’ve been around Overthinkers Notes for any amount of time…

  You already know.

  I wanted to end the month by going back through some of the notes I shared and pulling out a few that seemed to hit a little differently.

  Some received more attention than others.

  Some made me think.

  Some made you think.

  And some I simply needed to remind myself of again.

  So before we rush into September, here are a few August notes worth carrying with us.

  📝 “You Know.”

  Sometimes the most important person who knows what you did…

  is you.

  Doing the right thing isn’t always about being seen, praised or recognized.

  Sometimes nobody will ever know.

  But you will.

  And that’s enough.

  Read the note →A Note From the Resident Overthinker: You Know

  📝 Stop Being Afraid of Your Own Power

  How many times do we hold ourselves back because we’re afraid of what other people might think?

  We’re afraid to be seen.

  Afraid to try.

  Afraid to fail.

  Afraid to succeed.

  Afraid of being too much.

  But what if the very thing you’re afraid to step into is the thing that could change your life?

  You don’t have to dim your light to make somebody else comfortable.

  Read the note →A Note for Today: Stop Being Afraid of Your Own Power

  📝 The Most Important Lesson I Learned in 20 Years of Marriage Wasn’t From My Husband

  Twenty years of marriage taught me a lot.

  But one of the biggest lessons wasn’t about my husband at all.

  It was about me.

  My identity.

  My independence.

  My friendships.

  My interests.

  My voice.

  And remembering that being a wife and mother doesn’t mean disappearing inside those roles.

  Love someone deeply without losing yourself completely.

  Read the note →The Most Important Marriage Lesson I Learned Had Nothing to Do With My Husband

  📝 Isolation Is Restoration

  Sometimes we don’t need more people.

  Sometimes we need a little less noise.

  A little less access.

  A little more quiet.

  And there’s a difference between isolating yourself because you’re hurting and intentionally stepping away because you need to restore yourself.

  Not everyone needs daily access to you.

  Sometimes solitude gives you the space to hear yourself again.

  Read the note →Isolation Is Restoration

  And one last note before September…

  If there’s one thing I’ve learned from writing these notes, it’s that inspiration doesn’t always come from a book, a seminar or some profound life-changing experience.

  Sometimes it comes from a conversation at breakfast.

  A television show.

  A YouTube video.

  Something your husband says.

  Something your child does.

  Something you overhear.

  Or a thought that pops into your head while you’re doing absolutely nothing important.

  That’s the beauty of being an overthinker.

  We’re always collecting little thoughts.

  The trick is learning which ones are worth keeping.

  So I’m keeping these.

  And maybe one of them was exactly the note you needed this month.

  A Note for Today

  Don’t rush past the lessons you’ve already learned.

  Before you start the next chapter, take a minute to appreciate the one you just lived.

  What note are you taking with you into September?

  Until the next note,
  Your Resident Overthinker

  2026.08.30

• A Note From the Resident Overthinker: Are You Afraid to Be Seen?

  Note 034

  

  I heard a woman say something on YouTube years ago that stayed somewhere in the back of my mind.

  Recently, it popped back up.

  She said:

  “You are struggling and not where you want to be because of your fear of being seen.”

  Now…

  Wait a minute.

  My overthinking mind immediately started unpacking that sentence.

  Because what does being seen actually mean?

  At first, you might think she’s talking about social media.

  Posting pictures.

  Making videos.

  Putting your business online.

  Putting yourself out there.

  And yes, it can mean those things.

  But I think it’s much bigger than that.

  Being seen means allowing yourself to be visible enough for opportunities to find you.

  And that can be scary.

  Because being visible means people can have opinions.

  They can criticize you.

  They can misunderstand you.

  They can say no.

  They can judge you.

  They can decide they don’t like what you’re doing.

  And for an overthinker?

  Oh, we can create an entire imaginary audience before we’ve even done anything.

  “What if they don’t like it?”

  “What if I fail?”

  “What if somebody laughs?”

  “What if they think I’m trying too hard?”

  “What if people from my past see me?”

  “What if I’m not good enough?”

  So we stay quiet.

  We stay private.

  We stay comfortable.

  We stay offline.

  We keep the idea in our head.

  We keep the business to ourselves.

  We don’t apply.

  We don’t ask.

  We don’t introduce ourselves.

  We don’t speak up.

  We don’t share the talent.

  We don’t wear the outfit.

  We don’t take the trip.

  We don’t start the channel.

  We don’t write the book.

  We don’t walk into the room.

  And then we wonder why nothing is changing.

  Maybe the problem isn’t that you aren’t capable.

  Maybe you’re just hiding.

  Whew.

  That’s a note.

  And I’m not saying everyone needs to become an influencer.

  Please believe me.

  Some of us are perfectly happy living a private life.

  Privacy isn’t the problem.

  Fear is.

  There’s a difference between choosing privacy because it brings you peace and hiding because you’re terrified of what might happen if people actually see you try.

  That’s the part that got me.

  Because think about how many opportunities require some level of visibility.

  Want a promotion?

  Someone has to know what you’re capable of.

  Want a new career?

  You have to apply.

  Want to start a business?

  People have to know it exists.

  Want to make new friends?

  You have to actually show up.

  Want to date?

  You have to allow yourself to be available.

  Want to share your creativity?

  Someone has to see it.

  Want to build something?

  You can’t build it entirely in your head.

  And I think sometimes we confuse being unseen with being safe.

  But safe and stuck can look surprisingly similar.

  You aren’t being rejected…

  because you aren’t putting yourself in a position to be rejected.

  You aren’t failing…

  because you aren’t trying.

  You aren’t being criticized…

  because nobody knows what you’re doing.

  You aren’t being told no…

  because you never asked.

  And while that may feel comfortable, it also means you’re not giving yourself much opportunity to hear yes.

  So what are you afraid people will see?

  Your inexperience?

  Your ambition?

  Your body?

  Your age?

  Your personality?

  Your creativity?

  Your mistakes?

  Your dreams?

  Your confidence?

  Maybe even the version of yourself you’re becoming?

  Because here’s the thing I’ve learned:

  People are going to have opinions anyway.

  You can be quiet.

  You can be loud.

  You can succeed.

  You can fail.

  You can dress up.

  You can dress down.

  You can stay home.

  You can go out.

  Someone will have something to say.

  So you might as well start making decisions based on your life instead of the imaginary commentary in everyone else’s head.

  And let’s be honest…

  Half the people we’re worried about probably aren’t thinking about us nearly as much as we think they are.

  That’s another note.

  You don’t have to be fearless to be seen.

  You just have to be willing to be uncomfortable.

  Put yourself out there a little bit.

  Apply for the position.

  Post the work.

  Start the business.

  Take the class.

  Introduce yourself.

  Speak up in the meeting.

  Wear the dress.

  Go somewhere alone.

  Make the phone call.

  Share the idea.

  Try something you’ve been talking yourself out of.

  You don’t have to announce your entire life to the world.

  You don’t have to become somebody you’re not.

  You simply have to stop making yourself smaller because you’re afraid someone might notice.

  A Note for Today

  What if the thing keeping you from the life you want isn’t your lack of ability—but your fear of being seen trying?

  Ask yourself:

  What would I do if I wasn’t worried about who was watching?

  And then…

  Do one small version of that.

  Because maybe your next opportunity isn’t waiting for you to become more talented.

  Maybe it’s waiting for you to step out from behind the curtain.

  Until the next note,
  Your Resident Overthinker

  2026.08.29

• A Note From the Resident Overthinker: See Things as They Are

  Note 033

  

  So…my overthinking mind had another moment.

  And yes, it happened while I was watching another one of my favorite people online.

  At this point, I probably need to start carrying a notebook around while I watch YouTube because apparently I can’t just watch a video.

  I have to stop it.

  Write something down.

  Think about it.

  Pause it.

  Think about it some more.

  You get the point.

  But this particular thought?

  I had to write it down.

  She said something that immediately made me stop:

  “Maturity is seeing things as they are, not how you hope they are.”

  Let that sink in for a minute.

  Because…

  Whew.

  How many times have we done this?

  How many times have we looked at a person, situation, relationship, career, friendship, business, dream or even ourselves and seen what we wanted to see instead of what was actually sitting right in front of us?

  I think most of us have done it.

  And I think sometimes we do it because seeing things as they really are requires something we don’t always want to give:

  Action.

  Because once you acknowledge reality, you may have to do something about it.

  And doing something different can be uncomfortable.

  It can be scary.

  It can mean starting over.

  It can mean admitting you were wrong.

  It can mean disappointing someone.

  It can mean walking away.

  It can mean changing your plans.

  And sometimes…

  it can mean choosing yourself.

  Let’s talk about careers.

  Maybe you started a career years ago because it seemed like the right thing to do.

  It paid well.

  It was stable.

  It made your family proud.

  Maybe you thought you’d eventually grow to love it.

  But years later, you’re still sitting there thinking:

  “This isn’t what I want to do.”

  Yet you stay.

  Because starting over sounds exhausting.

  You think:

  “I’ve already put 10 years into this.”

  “What would I do instead?”

  “I’m too old to start over.”

  “What will people think?”

  And suddenly you’re not looking at your career as it is.

  You’re looking at it based on what you hoped it would become.

  That’s a big difference.

  And it doesn’t mean you have to quit your job tomorrow.

  It means you owe yourself the honesty of acknowledging:

  “This isn’t working for me anymore.”

  Once you can admit that, you can begin figuring out what comes next.

  And relationships?

  Oh, that’s a whole other note.

  How many friendships and romantic relationships have we stayed in because of potential?

  “They could be so good together.”

  “They have so much potential.”

  “I know they love me.”

  “They’ll change.”

  “We’ve been through so much.”

  “Maybe if I communicate it differently…”

  “Maybe if I give it more time…”

  And sometimes we aren’t loving the relationship that actually exists.

  We’re loving the relationship we hope it will become.

  There’s a difference.

  And that’s where this statement really hit me.

  Seeing things as they are doesn’t mean you’re negative.

  It means you’re honest.

  You can acknowledge someone’s potential without pretending they’re currently living up to it.

  You can love someone and recognize that the relationship isn’t healthy for you.

  You can appreciate your job and realize you don’t want to spend another decade doing it.

  You can love your home and realize it’s time for a change.

  You can be grateful for where you are and still want something different.

  Both things can be true.

  And I think that’s part of maturity.

  Not forcing yourself to call something beautiful when it isn’t.

  Not convincing yourself something is working when it isn’t.

  Not constantly explaining away behavior that continues to hurt you.

  Not confusing potential with reality.

  And definitely not staying somewhere simply because you’re afraid of what comes next.

  One of my favorite television therapists has a phrase that immediately came to my mind:

  “Let’s call a thing a thing.”

  Sometimes we need to.

  Call the friendship what it is.

  Call the career what it is.

  Call the relationship what it is.

  Call the situation what it is.

  Call the habit what it is.

  Call the behavior what it is.

  And maybe most importantly…

  Call yourself what you are.

  Capable.

  Growing.

  Learning.

  Changing.

  Still figuring it out.

  Because seeing things as they are isn’t the end of the story.

  It’s the beginning of an honest one.

  Once you stop fighting reality, you can finally start making decisions based on the life you actually have instead of the life you keep hoping will appear.

  And that can be incredibly freeing.

  A Note for Today

  See things as they are—not as you hoped they would be.

  Because sometimes the truth isn’t what we wanted.

  But the truth gives us something hope alone can’t:

  A place to start.

  Maybe you don’t need another sign.

  Maybe you don’t need another year.

  Maybe you don’t need to keep waiting for things to magically become what you hoped they’d be.

  Maybe you just need to pause…

  Take an honest look…

  And say:

  “Okay. This is what it is. Now what am I going to do with it?”

  That’s where the next chapter can begin.

  Until the next note,
  Your Resident Overthinker

  2026.08.28

• A Note From the Resident Overthinker: You Know

  Note 032

  

  I was watching an old show from my childhood recently.

  You know those shows you watched growing up that somehow hit completely differently when you’re an adult?

  Well, this one had a little one-liner that my husband and I both caught.

  And immediately…

  We looked at each other.

  Because sometimes the simplest things really do make the best reminders.

  In the episode, one of the children and her friend had a class project.

  They weren’t getting what they thought they needed to make the project good enough.

  It wasn’t interesting enough.

  They weren’t getting the reaction they wanted.

  So they decided to have someone film something for them—but there was one little problem.

  They didn’t tell their parents.

  Well…

  The project ended up being great.

  They loved the footage.

  They got the reaction they wanted.

  Everything seemed fine.

  Until Dad found out.

  The little girl basically said something along the lines of:

  “But no one would ever know.”

  And Dad’s response was:

  “Wrong. You know.”

  Whew.

  My husband immediately said:

  “That’s a word.”

  And he was right.

  Because how often do we make decisions based on the thought:

  “Nobody will know.”

  Nobody will know I did this.

  Nobody will know I said that.

  Nobody will know I didn’t tell the truth.

  Nobody will know I cut the corner.

  Nobody will know I wasn’t completely honest.

  Nobody will know what really happened.

  And maybe they won’t.

  Maybe nobody ever finds out.

  But…

  You know.

  And that’s the person you have to live with every single day.

  You can fool everybody else and still have a conversation with yourself every night.

  That’s why character matters.

  Integrity matters.

  Doing the right thing matters—even when there isn’t an audience.

  Because sometimes the reward for doing the right thing isn’t applause.

  Nobody may congratulate you.

  Nobody may even notice.

  But you know you did the right thing.

  And there’s something powerful about being able to live with yourself.

  Now, I’m not saying we’re all going to make the perfect decision every time.

  Please.

  We’re human.

  We make mistakes.

  We make bad decisions.

  We sometimes say things we wish we hadn’t said.

  We take the wrong turn.

  We learn.

  We grow.

  We make it right when we can.

  That’s different from intentionally doing something wrong because we think we’re getting away with it.

  And I think that’s the bigger lesson.

  Who are you when nobody is watching?

  That’s the real test.

  Not who you are when everyone is clapping.

  Not who you are when people are watching.

  Not who you are when you know you’re going to get credit.

  But who you are when there is absolutely nothing to gain and nobody will ever know.

  Because at the end of the day…

  You will know.

  And sometimes that has to be enough.

  A Note for Today

  Do the right thing—even when nobody will ever know you did it.

  Because somebody will.

  You.

  And that matters more than you think.

  Until the next note,
  Your Resident Overthinker

  2026.08.27

• A Note from Your Resident Overthinker: Be Mindful of Who You Confide In

  Note 031

  

  Go figure…

  I’m listening to a motivational speaker again.

  And he said something that immediately made me pause the video and think,

  “Okay…why did I need to hear this today?”

  He said:

  “Don’t confide in people who invalidate your experience.”

  And the timing?

  Interesting.

  Because I had just experienced something that made that sentence hit a little differently.

  I was talking to my mom about turning 45.

  And if you’ve been reading Overthinkers Notes, you already know I’ve been doing a LOT of reflecting lately.

  Forty-five has me looking backward, forward, sideways…

  Basically everywhere.

  I’ve been thinking about things I’ve learned, things I understand now that I didn’t understand when I was younger, things I would do differently, and yes, things I would never do again.

  I don’t have regrets.

  I just have more clarity.

  My light bulbs are brighter.

  I told my mom that.

  I said something along the lines of,

  “I feel like my light bulbs are really bright right now. I think I have two 100-watt bulbs going.”

  And my mother immediately said,

  “No you don’t.”

  Now, I love my mother.

  But I had to laugh.

  Because…

  Ma’am.

  Let me have my 100-watt bulbs!

  She basically told me I hadn’t become THAT enlightened.

  That I had matured a little, but it wasn’t that deep.

  And normally, I probably would’ve laughed it off.

  But it made me think.

  Because this wasn’t the first time.

  A couple of days before, we were talking about my foot.

  I mentioned that I might have to seriously consider what my doctor recommended regarding surgery because my foot hurts when I bend it.

  Her response?

  “It’s not as bad as mine.”

  And there have been other little moments like this throughout my life.

  Nothing dramatic.

  Nothing that makes me say my mother doesn’t love me.

  She does.

  But I’ve started realizing something as I’ve gotten older:

  Love and emotional safety aren’t always the same thing.

  And that’s an important distinction.

  Sometimes the people we love aren’t necessarily the people we should tell everything to.

  And that can be hard to accept when it’s your parent.

  Your spouse.

  Your sibling.

  Your friend.

  Someone you’ve known forever.

  We naturally think,

  “Of course I can tell them. They know me.”

  But knowing you doesn’t automatically mean someone knows how to hold your experiences with care.

  Some people respond by comparing.

  “Well, mine was worse.”

  Some minimize.

  “You’re overthinking it.”

  Some immediately try to fix it.

  Some turn your experience into their experience.

  And some simply don’t know how to sit with you in what you’re feeling without making you question whether you should be feeling it at all.

  And that’s where that quote hit me.

  Don’t confide in people who invalidate your experience.

  That doesn’t mean you have to cut them off.

  It doesn’t mean they’re bad people.

  It doesn’t mean they don’t love you.

  And it certainly doesn’t mean you can’t have a relationship with them.

  It simply means…

  Be intentional about what you give them access to.

  Some people are great for laughter.

  Some are great for advice.

  Some are great for celebrating you.

  Some are great for talking about marriage, motherhood, work, books, makeup, or whatever else.

  And then there are those special people who can sit with you when you’re vulnerable and say,

  “I understand.”

  Or even,

  “I don’t completely understand, but I hear you.”

  That’s a different kind of relationship.

  As I’ve gotten older, I’m learning that not everyone deserves every version of me.

  And that’s not being secretive.

  That’s having boundaries.

  You don’t have to tell everyone everything.

  You don’t have to repeatedly explain your experience to someone committed to seeing it differently.

  And you certainly don’t have to shrink what you’re feeling just because someone else experienced something worse.

  Pain isn’t a competition.

  Your experience doesn’t become less valid because someone else’s was harder.

  Your accomplishment doesn’t become smaller because someone else accomplished more.

  Your growth doesn’t become less meaningful because someone else doesn’t see it.

  And your light bulbs?

  Honey…

  Let them shine.

  Maybe they’re not 100 watts.

  Maybe they’re 60.

  Maybe they’re 200.

  That’s between you and your electrician.

  But you don’t need somebody else to approve the amount of light you’ve gained through your own experiences.

  A Note for Today

  Be mindful of who you confide in. Not everyone who loves you knows how to hold your vulnerability.

  A Little Something to Think About…

  Ask yourself:

  “When I share something vulnerable with this person, do I feel heard—or do I leave the conversation questioning myself?”

  That answer might tell you more than you realize.

  You don’t necessarily need to remove people from your life.

  Sometimes you simply need to change what you hand them.

  Until the next note,

  Your Resident Overthinker

  2026.08.26

• A Note for Today: Stop Being Afraid of Your Own Power

  A Note From the Resident Overthinker

  Note 030

  

  I’ve been thinking about something lately.

  Actually, let me correct that.

  I’ve been overthinking something lately. 😂

  And it came up because I’ve had three separate conversations with people close to me.

  Three completely different people.

  Three completely different ages.

  Three completely different situations.

  But when I sat back and thought about all three conversations, I realized they had the same underlying theme:

  They weren’t fully trusting themselves.

  And whew…

  That’ll make an overthinker think.

  The first person is a young woman in her 20s who is trying her absolute best to keep up with what she sees on social media.

  What to wear.

  Where to go.

  What to buy.

  How her house should look.

  What her career should look like.

  When she should be successful.

  Where she should vacation.

  What her life should look like at a certain age.

  And when I challenged her about why she wanted to do certain things, she said something that stopped me:

  “But that’s what the Housewives do.”

  Baby.

  The Housewives are on television.

  That’s reality television.

  And yes, I understand that social media and reality TV can blur together now because everybody’s life looks like a television show online.

  But here’s the problem:

  You’re comparing your real life to somebody else’s edited, produced, curated, sponsored or completely unrealistic version of life.

  And then wondering why yours doesn’t look like theirs.

  You don’t have to live like somebody else to have a good life.

  You don’t have to buy what they’re buying.

  Dress like they’re dressing.

  Vacation where they’re vacationing.

  Or reach their milestones on their timeline.

  You have to figure out what YOU actually want.

  And that brings me to person number two.

  This person has been in their career for about 20 years.

  They’re experienced.

  They’re capable.

  They’re knowledgeable.

  And honestly?

  They could probably be much further along than they are.

  But fear has been sitting in the driver’s seat.

  They admitted that part of it is wanting everyone to think they have everything together.

  They don’t want to look like they don’t know something.

  They don’t want to fail.

  They don’t want to make the wrong move.

  They don’t want people to see them struggle.

  So they stay comfortable.

  And when I heard that, I thought:

  How many people are living below their potential because they’re afraid of what happens if they actually step into their power?

  Because here’s the thing:

  You can’t spend your entire life trying to convince everyone that you have it all together.

  People can tell when something isn’t authentic.

  And more importantly…

  You can tell.

  You know when you’re shrinking.

  You know when you’re pretending.

  You know when you’re saying yes because you’re afraid to say no.

  You know when you’re staying somewhere because you’re afraid to find out what you’re capable of somewhere else.

  And you know when you’re dimming your light so other people don’t feel uncomfortable.

  Stop being afraid of what might happen if you actually become everything you’re capable of becoming.

  And then there was person number three.

  A teenager stepping into a tutoring and leadership role.

  And this conversation was different because she’s young and just beginning to discover what it feels like to have influence.

  And I had to remind her:

  Don’t be afraid of the position you’re stepping into.

  Some people may not immediately respond positively.

  Some peers may not want to listen.

  Some people may make you feel like you’re doing too much.

  Do it anyway.

  Because leadership isn’t about everyone liking you.

  And helping someone doesn’t require you to make yourself smaller.

  You have the ability to help somebody understand something they didn’t understand before.

  You have knowledge somebody else needs.

  You have an opportunity to help another person progress.

  Don’t be afraid of that.

  And that’s when I realized all three conversations were really about the same thing.

  One person was afraid she wasn’t keeping up.

  One person was afraid of what she could accomplish.

  One person was afraid of how other people might respond to her stepping into leadership.

  Different fears.

  Same root.

  Not fully trusting themselves.

  And I want to pass this note along because I think so many of us do this.

  We look outside ourselves for confirmation.

  We ask:

  “Am I doing this right?”

  “Should I be further along?”

  “What will people think?”

  “Is this what successful people are doing?”

  “Do I look like I have it together?”

  “What if I fail?”

  “What if they don’t like me?”

  “What if I’m too much?”

  And sometimes we’re so busy trying to make sure we’re doing life correctly that we forget to actually live our own life.

  You don’t have to be an imposter in your own life.

  You don’t have to pretend you’re someone you’re not.

  You don’t have to perform success.

  You don’t have to copy somebody else’s lifestyle.

  You don’t have to make yourself smaller.

  You don’t have to apologize for being capable.

  You don’t have to wait until you’re 100% confident before you start.

  And you certainly don’t need everybody’s approval before you trust yourself.

  Confidence isn’t always walking into a room thinking:

  “I’m the smartest person here.”

  Sometimes confidence is:

  “I don’t know everything, but I trust myself enough to figure it out.”

  That’s a completely different kind of confidence.

  And maybe that’s what we need more of.

  Not louder people.

  Not people pretending they have all the answers.

  Not people copying somebody else’s life.

  But people who are comfortable enough with themselves to say:

  This is who I am.

  This is what I want.

  This is what I’m capable of.

  And I’m willing to figure out the rest along the way.

  A Note for Today

  Stop being afraid of your own potential.

  Don’t let social media tell you what your life should look like.

  Don’t let fear convince you to stay comfortable.

  Don’t let someone else’s opinion make you shrink.

  And don’t become so focused on looking like you have it all together that you never give yourself permission to actually grow.

  Trust yourself.

  Believe in yourself.

  Walk into the room.

  Wear the outfit.

  Apply for the position.

  Start the business.

  Take the class.

  Change careers.

  Lead.

  Speak.

  Create.

  Try.

  And if somebody doesn’t understand you?

  That’s okay.

  Your life isn’t supposed to make sense to everybody else.

  It just needs to make sense to you.

  And if you find yourself overthinking whether you’re capable…

  Take a breath.

  Look at everything you’ve already survived, learned, accomplished and figured out.

  You have more in you than you think.

  Now go find out what happens when you stop being afraid to use it.

  Until the next note,
  Your Resident Overthinker

  2026.08.25

• A Note From the Resident Overthinker: You’ve Done Hard Things Before

  Note 029

  

  Here I go again…

  Listening to YouTube.

  I was watching a young woman asking for advice about getting back on track with her fitness and, more importantly, sticking to her goals.

  The woman giving her advice asked her if she was in school.

  She said yes.

  She asked if she graduated.

  She said yes—and that she had just graduated with a bachelor’s degree in neuroscience.

  First of all…

  Congratulations!

  That’s no small accomplishment.

  The woman told her she was proud of her and then asked her something that made the young woman stop and think.

  She basically said:

  You were disciplined for four years to earn that degree.

  You had a goal.

  You had a plan.

  You knew what courses you needed to take.

  You had semesters mapped out.

  You showed up.

  You studied.

  You took exams.

  You kept going even when you probably didn’t feel like it.

  You had a destination.

  And then she asked:

  If you can be disciplined for four years to earn a college degree, why can’t you be disciplined enough to reach your fitness goals?

  The young woman smiled.

  And said:

  “You’re right.”

  And there went my overthinking mind.

  Because I immediately started thinking…

  This isn’t just about fitness.

  This applies to so many areas of our lives.

  How many times have we convinced ourselves that we’re not disciplined?

  “I can’t stick with anything.”

  “I always quit.”

  “I don’t have the motivation.”

  “I’m just not consistent.”

  But wait a minute.

  Have you ever finished something difficult?

  Did you graduate?

  Did you raise children?

  Did you complete a degree?

  Did you survive a difficult season?

  Did you save money for something you really wanted?

  Did you build a career?

  Did you stick with a relationship through difficult seasons?

  Did you learn a skill?

  Did you start a business?

  Did you finally accomplish something you once thought was impossible?

  Because if you’ve done something that required persistence, patience, discipline and commitment…

  Guess what?

  You already have those qualities inside of you.

  Maybe you just aren’t using them in the area you’re struggling with right now.

  And I think that’s the part that really got me.

  We sometimes look at the thing we’re currently struggling with and decide:

  “I don’t have discipline.”

  But maybe the better question is:

  “Where have I already proven that I do?”

  Think about it.

  Maybe you’ve been disciplined in your career but not your finances.

  Maybe you’ve been disciplined with everyone else but yourself.

  Maybe you’ve stuck with motherhood through some of the hardest days imaginable but can’t seem to stick with your personal goals.

  Maybe you committed to getting your degree but can’t seem to commit to your health.

  Maybe you’ve been persistent in relationships but gave up on a dream.

  Maybe you’ve spent years taking care of everybody else but haven’t been able to make yourself a priority.

  The ability is there.

  You’ve just got to dig it back out.

  And no, I’m not saying getting healthy is as simple as getting a degree.

  It isn’t.

  Life doesn’t work that neatly.

  We have different circumstances, responsibilities, setbacks, emotions and seasons.

  But the lesson is still worth remembering:

  You’ve done hard things before.

  So when you’re standing in front of another goal wondering if you can do it, don’t only think about how far you have to go.

  Think about where you’ve already been.

  Remember the version of you who didn’t quit.

  Remember the time you kept going when you were tired.

  Remember when you wanted to give up but didn’t.

  Remember the thing you accomplished that once felt impossible.

  That woman is still in there.

  You don’t need to become disciplined.

  You need to remember that you already know how to be disciplined.

  Pull out the persistence.

  Pull out the courage.

  Pull out the patience.

  Pull out the consistency.

  Pull out that stubborn little voice that says:

  “We’re finishing this.”

  And then take the next step.

  Not 20 steps.

  Not the entire staircase.

  Just the next one.

  A Note for Today

  Before you decide you can’t stick with something, remember something you once committed to and finished.

  You have evidence that you can follow through.

  You have evidence that you can learn.

  You have evidence that you can persevere.

  You have evidence that you can do hard things.

  So maybe this isn’t about becoming a completely different person.

  Maybe it’s about bringing the disciplined version of you from one area of your life into another.

  Whatever journey you’re on right now…

  Keep going.

  You’ve done hard things before.

  You can do another one.

  Until the next note,
  Your Resident Overthinker

  2026.08.24

• A Note from Your Resident Overthinker: Little Things That Can Help You Get Your Life Back in Order

  Note 028

  

  I’ve been watching quite a few YouTube videos lately about women trying to get their lives back in order.

  And the stories are different.

  Some had babies.

  Some went through divorce.

  Some lost their jobs.

  Some experienced the death of someone they loved.

  Some went through a difficult season and, somewhere along the way, simply lost themselves.

  And I understand how that happens.

  Life can hand you a few things at once and before you know it, you’re not doing the things you used to do.

  The house isn’t as clean.

  You’re not cooking.

  You’re not getting dressed.

  You’re not exercising.

  You’re staying up too late.

  You’re sleeping too late.

  You’re scrolling.

  You’re isolating.

  And eventually you look around and think…

  “How did I get here?”

  Well, here’s my first note:

  Give Yourself Some Grace.

  You didn’t fall into that slump in one day.

  So please don’t expect yourself to climb out of it overnight.

  Give yourself time.

  Give yourself grace.

  And then…

  Start small.

  You don’t need a complete life transformation by Monday.

  You need a few little wins.

  Here are some things I’ve found helpful—or simply think are worth trying when you’re ready to start finding your way back to yourself.

  📝 Clean Something

  Start with one room.

  One closet.

  One drawer.

  One bathroom.

  Open the windows.

  Open the curtains.

  Let some sunlight in.

  There is something about cleaning your physical environment that can make your mind feel a little lighter too.

  And if you’re anything like me, once you clean one thing, suddenly you’re looking at the rest of the house like…

  “Well, now I have to finish this.”

  There goes the overthinking.

  But that’s okay.

  One thing at a time.

  📝 Take Yourself Outside

  Go for a walk.

  Walk around the park.

  Walk around the mall.

  Go somewhere you’ve never been.

  People watch.

  Window shop.

  Sit outside with a cup of coffee.

  You don’t necessarily have to spend money or have somewhere important to go.

  Sometimes you just need to get out of the house and see something besides the same four walls.

  📝 Limit the Screen Time

  This one may hurt a little.

  But sometimes the thing we’re using to escape is keeping us stuck.

  Put the phone down.

  Turn off the television.

  Take a break from scrolling.

  You don’t need to know what everyone else is doing while you’re trying to figure out what you’re doing.

  📝 Use What You Have

  You don’t need a brand-new life to start creating a better one.

  Look in your pantry.

  Make something different with the food you already have.

  Try a new recipe.

  Reduce your portions if that’s one of your goals.

  Meal prep.

  Get creative.

  You don’t need a refrigerator full of expensive “wellness” foods to start taking better care of yourself.

  Use what you have.

  📝 Move Your Body

  You don’t need a gym membership.

  Move your living room furniture if you need some space.

  Put on YouTube.

  Find a beginner workout.

  Walk around your neighborhood.

  Stretch.

  Dance.

  And yes…

  Those old leggings and T-shirts you’ve been saving?

  Congratulations.

  They’ve officially been promoted to workout clothes.

  You don’t need the matching $150 workout set to move your body.

  📝 Read 10 Pages

  Ten.

  That’s it.

  Pick up a nonfiction book and read ten pages a day.

  Not fifty.

  Not an entire chapter.

  Ten pages.

  Ten pages a day adds up.

  And eventually you’ll look back and realize you’ve finished books you once thought you didn’t have time to read.

  📝 Go to Bed Earlier

  If you can, start creating a bedtime routine.

  Turn the television off.

  Put the phone down.

  Get in bed a little earlier.

  And if your schedule allows, try waking up a little earlier too.

  Sometimes getting your days back in order starts with getting your nights back in order.

  📝 Get Dressed

  And this one might be my favorite.

  Get dressed.

  Not because you’re going somewhere.

  Not because somebody is coming over.

  Not because you have an event.

  Because you deserve to feel like yourself again.

  Put on the dress.

  Put on the lipstick.

  Do your hair.

  Put on the earrings.

  Do your nails.

  Whatever makes you feel good.

  You don’t need a reason.

  📝 Laugh

  Watch something funny.

  Call someone who makes you laugh.

  Play music.

  Dance in your kitchen.

  Watch an old favorite show.

  Sometimes we take rebuilding our lives so seriously that we forget we’re allowed to enjoy ourselves along the way.

  📝 And Please…Stop Comparing

  This one is important.

  You don’t know what someone else’s life really looks like.

  You don’t know their circumstances.

  You don’t know their finances.

  You don’t know their struggles.

  You don’t know what happens when the camera turns off.

  Your timeline is yours.

  Your rebuilding is yours.

  Your starting point is yours.

  And there is absolutely no prize for getting your life together faster than somebody else.

  So if you’re currently in a season where you’re trying to find your way back to yourself…

  Start small.

  Clean something.

  Open a window.

  Take a walk.

  Read ten pages.

  Drink some water.

  Make yourself something good to eat.

  Put on the dress.

  Laugh.

  Go to bed.

  Wake up.

  Try again.

  And then do it again tomorrow.

  You don’t have to become a completely different woman.

  Maybe you’re simply trying to find your way back to you.

  And honey…

  That’s worth taking your time with.

  A Note for Today

  You don’t have to fix your whole life today. Just do one small thing that makes tomorrow a little better.

  A Little Something to Think About…

  What’s one small thing you’ve been putting off that you could do today—not to change your entire life, but simply to remind yourself that you’re capable of moving forward?

  Start there.

  Until the next note,

  Your Resident Overthinker

  2026.08.23

• A Note from Your Resident Overthinker: One of the Greatest Signs of Maturity Is Learning to Receive Feedback

  Note 027

  

  As your children grow…

  You grow too.

  No one really talks about that part of parenting.

  We often focus on how much our children change, but we don’t realize how much we’re changing right alongside them.

  The way we parent evolves.

  What they need from us evolves.

  Even the conversations become different.

  My oldest daughter is getting ready to begin her senior year of high school.

  Which means, whether I’m ready or not, she’s preparing to step into adulthood.

  Legal adulthood.

  And lately, I’ve found myself having more conversations about life than homework.

  One conversation in particular has stayed with me.

  My daughter is an artist at heart.

  She’s incredibly creative.

  She pays attention to details that most people would overlook.

  Like many creative people, she’s also a bit of a perfectionist.

  I’ve noticed that whenever someone gives her criticism she wasn’t expecting, she has a habit of immediately defending herself.

  Or minimizing it.

  Or apologizing before she even has a chance to process what was said.

  So I stopped her.

  I said,

  “Honey, let me tell you something.”

  “As an adult, you’re going to receive feedback your entire life.”

  From your boss.

  Your coworkers.

  Clients.

  Professors.

  Friends.

  Your spouse one day.

  Even your own children if you’re blessed to have them.

  And none of us ever graduate from learning.

  That’s just part of life.

  I told her something I’ve had to learn myself.

  You don’t have to agree with every critique…but you should always be willing to consider it.

  That doesn’t mean every opinion deserves a place in your heart.

  Some criticism is unfair.

  Some people project their own frustrations onto others.

  Some feedback simply isn’t true.

  That’s why wisdom matters.

  Take what helps you grow.

  Leave the rest behind.

  But don’t reject every piece of feedback simply because it made you uncomfortable.

  Discomfort isn’t always an attack.

  Sometimes it’s an invitation to grow.

  I’ve come to believe one of the greatest flexes a person can have isn’t always being the smartest person in the room.

  It isn’t having all the answers.

  It isn’t proving everyone wrong.

  It’s being able to receive constructive criticism without becoming defensive.

  That’s emotional maturity.

  It’s having enough confidence to say,

  “You know what…there may be something I can learn here.”

  The people who grow the most aren’t the ones who never make mistakes.

  They’re the ones who remain teachable.

  No matter their age.

  No matter their title.

  No matter how much experience they have.

  I’ve met people in their twenties who were incredibly teachable.

  And I’ve met people in their sixties who believed they had nothing left to learn.

  Age doesn’t determine maturity.

  Humility does.

  Maybe that’s the note I wanted to leave with you today.

  Never become so convinced that you’ve arrived that you stop allowing yourself to grow.

  Because growth has a funny way of showing up in the form of feedback.

  The question is…

  Will we receive it?

  A Note for Today

  Receiving feedback with grace doesn’t make you weak. It shows you’re confident enough to keep growing.

  A Little Something to Think About…

  Think about the last piece of constructive feedback you received. Was your first reaction to defend yourself…or to reflect? Growth often begins the moment we become willing to listen.

  Until the next note,

  Your Resident Overthinker

  2026.08.22

• Maybe August Is Your New Year

  A Note From the Resident Overthinker

  Note 026

  

  I was watching a commercial recently and the woman said something about it being the new year.

  And then she paused and said…

  “Well, for some.”

  And of course, my overthinking mind said:

  Hmmmm…she’s right.

  Because technically, we’re in August.

  The new year was seven months ago.

  But if you’re a parent, a teacher, have school-aged children, or simply grew up with the rhythm of the school calendar, you know exactly what she meant.

  August feels like a new year.

  Back to school means new schedules.

  New routines.

  New routes.

  New bedtimes.

  New mornings.

  New activities.

  New responsibilities.

  New clothes.

  New school supplies.

  New everything.

  One minute you’re sleeping a little later, eating at random times and wondering what day it is…

  And the next minute somebody is standing in the kitchen at 6:15 a.m. asking:

  “Where’s my Chromebook?”

  Suddenly, everybody’s calendar has appointments, practices, meetings, assignments and places to be.

  And that’s when I started thinking…

  Maybe we should stop waiting until January to start over.

  We get so caught up in the idea that January 1st is our one official opportunity to reset.

  New year.

  New goals.

  New planner.

  New workout routine.

  New budget.

  New everything.

  And then life happens.

  By February we’re negotiating with ourselves.

  By March we’re tired.

  By April we’re wondering what happened to those goals.

  But here’s the thing:

  You can create a new beginning whenever you need one.

  And maybe August is a pretty good time.

  The second half of the year is sitting right in front of you.

  You can look at what you’ve accomplished so far.

  Look at what didn’t work.

  Adjust.

  Start again.

  Change the goal.

  Drop the goal.

  Create a completely different goal.

  Whatever makes sense for your life now.

  Maybe this is the season you finally get your finances organized.

  Maybe you need to revisit your budget.

  Start saving.

  Pay down some debt.

  Learn something about investing.

  Maybe it’s time to get your physical health back on track.

  Start walking.

  Get back into your workouts.

  Cook more meals at home.

  Finally make that doctor’s appointment you’ve been putting off.

  Maybe you need an emotional reset.

  Spend less time scrolling.

  Create some boundaries.

  Get comfortable with your own company again.

  Maybe it’s spiritual.

  Maybe you need to reconnect with your faith, pray more, journal, read your Bible or simply create some quiet time.

  Or maybe your reset is much more literal.

  Clean your house.

  Open those curtains.

  Open the windows.

  Declutter the closet.

  Clean out the pantry.

  Organize that drawer you’ve been avoiding for the last three years.

  You know the drawer.

  We all have one.

  Sometimes getting your physical environment together helps you get your mind together too.

  And that’s what I love about these little seasonal resets.

  They give us a visual signal that it’s time to shift.

  We see the back-to-school commercials.

  The school supplies hit the shelves.

  Fall clothes start showing up.

  The calendar changes.

  And something in us says:

  Okay…let’s get ourselves together.

  Maybe that’s the universe’s little reminder that you don’t have to wait for January.

  You don’t need Monday.

  You don’t need the first of the month.

  You don’t need January 1st.

  You don’t need a birthday.

  You don’t need some perfectly planned moment where everything suddenly makes sense.

  You can decide today that you’re entering a new season.

  And if you’ve had a rough first half of the year?

  That’s okay.

  If your goals changed?

  That’s okay.

  If you started something and stopped?

  That’s okay too.

  Give yourself some grace.

  Take inventory.

  Keep what works.

  Release what doesn’t.

  Adjust the plan.

  And keep moving.

  Because there are still months left in this year.

  A lot can happen between now and December.

  So maybe August isn’t the beginning of a new calendar year…

  But it can be the beginning of a new chapter.

  And I’ll take that.

  A Note for Today

  You don’t need a new year to start over. Sometimes a new season is all the permission you need.

  So if you’ve been waiting for your sign to reset…

  Maybe this is it.

  Happy New Year.

  Well…

  For some. 😂

  Until the next note,
  Your Resident Overthinker

  2026.08.21