Note 034
I heard a woman say something on YouTube years ago that stayed somewhere in the back of my mind.
Recently, it popped back up.
She said:
“You are struggling and not where you want to be because of your fear of being seen.”
Now…
Wait a minute.
My overthinking mind immediately started unpacking that sentence.
Because what does being seen actually mean?
At first, you might think she’s talking about social media.
Posting pictures.
Making videos.
Putting your business online.
Putting yourself out there.
And yes, it can mean those things.
But I think it’s much bigger than that.
Being seen means allowing yourself to be visible enough for opportunities to find you.
And that can be scary.
Because being visible means people can have opinions.
They can criticize you.
They can misunderstand you.
They can say no.
They can judge you.
They can decide they don’t like what you’re doing.
And for an overthinker?
Oh, we can create an entire imaginary audience before we’ve even done anything.
“What if they don’t like it?”
“What if I fail?”
“What if somebody laughs?”
“What if they think I’m trying too hard?”
“What if people from my past see me?”
“What if I’m not good enough?”
So we stay quiet.
We stay private.
We stay comfortable.
We stay offline.
We keep the idea in our head.
We keep the business to ourselves.
We don’t apply.
We don’t ask.
We don’t introduce ourselves.
We don’t speak up.
We don’t share the talent.
We don’t wear the outfit.
We don’t take the trip.
We don’t start the channel.
We don’t write the book.
We don’t walk into the room.
And then we wonder why nothing is changing.
Maybe the problem isn’t that you aren’t capable.
Maybe you’re just hiding.
Whew.
That’s a note.
And I’m not saying everyone needs to become an influencer.
Please believe me.
Some of us are perfectly happy living a private life.
Privacy isn’t the problem.
Fear is.
There’s a difference between choosing privacy because it brings you peace and hiding because you’re terrified of what might happen if people actually see you try.
That’s the part that got me.
Because think about how many opportunities require some level of visibility.
Want a promotion?
Someone has to know what you’re capable of.
Want a new career?
You have to apply.
Want to start a business?
People have to know it exists.
Want to make new friends?
You have to actually show up.
Want to date?
You have to allow yourself to be available.
Want to share your creativity?
Someone has to see it.
Want to build something?
You can’t build it entirely in your head.
And I think sometimes we confuse being unseen with being safe.
But safe and stuck can look surprisingly similar.
You aren’t being rejected…
because you aren’t putting yourself in a position to be rejected.
You aren’t failing…
because you aren’t trying.
You aren’t being criticized…
because nobody knows what you’re doing.
You aren’t being told no…
because you never asked.
And while that may feel comfortable, it also means you’re not giving yourself much opportunity to hear yes.
So what are you afraid people will see?
Your inexperience?
Your ambition?
Your body?
Your age?
Your personality?
Your creativity?
Your mistakes?
Your dreams?
Your confidence?
Maybe even the version of yourself you’re becoming?
Because here’s the thing I’ve learned:
People are going to have opinions anyway.
You can be quiet.
You can be loud.
You can succeed.
You can fail.
You can dress up.
You can dress down.
You can stay home.
You can go out.
Someone will have something to say.
So you might as well start making decisions based on your life instead of the imaginary commentary in everyone else’s head.
And let’s be honest…
Half the people we’re worried about probably aren’t thinking about us nearly as much as we think they are.
That’s another note.
You don’t have to be fearless to be seen.
You just have to be willing to be uncomfortable.
Put yourself out there a little bit.
Apply for the position.
Post the work.
Start the business.
Take the class.
Introduce yourself.
Speak up in the meeting.
Wear the dress.
Go somewhere alone.
Make the phone call.
Share the idea.
Try something you’ve been talking yourself out of.
You don’t have to announce your entire life to the world.
You don’t have to become somebody you’re not.
You simply have to stop making yourself smaller because you’re afraid someone might notice.
A Note for Today
What if the thing keeping you from the life you want isn’t your lack of ability—but your fear of being seen trying?
Ask yourself:
What would I do if I wasn’t worried about who was watching?
And then…
Do one small version of that.
Because maybe your next opportunity isn’t waiting for you to become more talented.
Maybe it’s waiting for you to step out from behind the curtain.
Until the next note,
Your Resident Overthinker