Note 027
As your children grow…
You grow too.
No one really talks about that part of parenting.
We often focus on how much our children change, but we don’t realize how much we’re changing right alongside them.
The way we parent evolves.
What they need from us evolves.
Even the conversations become different.
My oldest daughter is getting ready to begin her senior year of high school.
Which means, whether I’m ready or not, she’s preparing to step into adulthood.
Legal adulthood.
And lately, I’ve found myself having more conversations about life than homework.
One conversation in particular has stayed with me.
My daughter is an artist at heart.
She’s incredibly creative.
She pays attention to details that most people would overlook.
Like many creative people, she’s also a bit of a perfectionist.
I’ve noticed that whenever someone gives her criticism she wasn’t expecting, she has a habit of immediately defending herself.
Or minimizing it.
Or apologizing before she even has a chance to process what was said.
So I stopped her.
I said,
“Honey, let me tell you something.”
“As an adult, you’re going to receive feedback your entire life.”
From your boss.
Your coworkers.
Clients.
Professors.
Friends.
Your spouse one day.
Even your own children if you’re blessed to have them.
And none of us ever graduate from learning.
That’s just part of life.
I told her something I’ve had to learn myself.
You don’t have to agree with every critique…but you should always be willing to consider it.
That doesn’t mean every opinion deserves a place in your heart.
Some criticism is unfair.
Some people project their own frustrations onto others.
Some feedback simply isn’t true.
That’s why wisdom matters.
Take what helps you grow.
Leave the rest behind.
But don’t reject every piece of feedback simply because it made you uncomfortable.
Discomfort isn’t always an attack.
Sometimes it’s an invitation to grow.
I’ve come to believe one of the greatest flexes a person can have isn’t always being the smartest person in the room.
It isn’t having all the answers.
It isn’t proving everyone wrong.
It’s being able to receive constructive criticism without becoming defensive.
That’s emotional maturity.
It’s having enough confidence to say,
“You know what…there may be something I can learn here.”
The people who grow the most aren’t the ones who never make mistakes.
They’re the ones who remain teachable.
No matter their age.
No matter their title.
No matter how much experience they have.
I’ve met people in their twenties who were incredibly teachable.
And I’ve met people in their sixties who believed they had nothing left to learn.
Age doesn’t determine maturity.
Humility does.
Maybe that’s the note I wanted to leave with you today.
Never become so convinced that you’ve arrived that you stop allowing yourself to grow.
Because growth has a funny way of showing up in the form of feedback.
The question is…
Will we receive it?
A Note for Today
Receiving feedback with grace doesn’t make you weak. It shows you’re confident enough to keep growing.
A Little Something to Think About…
Think about the last piece of constructive feedback you received. Was your first reaction to defend yourself…or to reflect? Growth often begins the moment we become willing to listen.
Until the next note,
Your Resident Overthinker