Overthinker’s Notes

A Note from Your Resident Overthinker: If You Want Something Different, You Have to Do Something Different

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I don’t know about you, but there are certain sayings we’ve all heard so many times that we stop hearing them.

They become background noise.

We nod our heads.

We agree.

And then we go right back to doing exactly what we’ve always done.

One of those sayings is…

“If you want something different, you have to do something different.”

Simple.

Powerful.

And if we’re honest…

A little uncomfortable.

Recently, I was listening to a woman give advice to young women.

One thing she kept coming back to was this very statement.

“If you want something different, you have to do something different.”

There goes my overthinking mind again.

Because I started thinking…

How many times have I heard that?

Probably a hundred.

But have I always applied it?

Absolutely not.

Sometimes we want a new chapter while rereading the same page.

We want different results while making the same decisions.

We pray for change…

But cling to what’s comfortable.

Now, let me use one of my favorite examples.

Working out.

You know I love a good workout analogy.

When you first start exercising, you see progress.

You’re excited.

You’re motivated.

The clothes fit differently.

You feel stronger.

Then one day…

Nothing.

You’ve hit a plateau.

Does that mean working out stopped working?

No.

It means your body has adapted.

So what do you do?

You change something.

Maybe you increase the weight.

Walk a different route.

Try a new class.

Lift a little heavier.

Challenge yourself in a different way.

Growth requires change.

Life works the same way.

Maybe you want different friendships.

Have you put yourself in places where you’ll actually meet different people?

Maybe you want to read more.

Have you picked up a book…

Or are you still scrolling every evening?

Maybe you want more confidence.

Have you done anything that scares you just a little?

Maybe you want a different career.

Have you applied for the position?

Updated your résumé?

Learned a new skill?

Maybe you want peace.

Have you changed what you’re feeding your mind every day?

The people.

The conversations.

The television.

The social media.

The habits.

Everything we repeatedly consume shapes us.

Sometimes the life we’re asking for is waiting on the other side of one uncomfortable decision.

I know stepping outside your comfort zone isn’t easy.

Trust me.

I’ve had to do it myself.

Wearing the dress when I usually wouldn’t.

Slowing down when I was used to multitasking.

Starting this blog instead of talking myself out of it.

Every season of growth has asked me to do something that once felt uncomfortable.

And every single time…

I’m glad I did.

Maybe that’s the note I wanted to leave with you today.

If nothing changes…

Nothing changes.

And maybe that’s not meant to discourage us.

Maybe it’s meant to remind us that we have more power than we think.

One different decision.

One different habit.

One different conversation.

One different step.

That’s how new chapters begin.

A Note for Today

The life you’re hoping for may be waiting on the other side of something you’ve been avoiding because it feels unfamiliar.

A Little Something to Think About…

Ask yourself one simple question today:

“What’s one thing I can do differently this week that my future self will thank me for?”

It doesn’t have to be a big leap.

Sometimes the smallest change is the beginning of the biggest transformation.

Until the next note,

Your Resident Overthinker
Note from Your Resident Overthinker: Only Answer the Question That’s Asked

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I was watching QVC yesterday.

And before anyone says anything…

Yes, I’m a QVC shopper.

I love it.

Don’t judge me.

There’s something relaxing about watching people get excited over cookware, handbags, and skincare.

Anyway…

The host did something fun.

She asked the viewers the question of the day.

“What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given?”

People started calling in and sharing answers.

And you know my overthinking mind…

Immediately I thought,

“Hmmmmmm…”

I’ve been given a lot of good advice over the years.

Some from my parents.

Some from complete strangers.

Some from people who probably don’t even realize how much their words stayed with me.

But one piece of advice immediately came to mind.

I heard it when I was in high school.

“Only answer the question that’s asked.”

Simple.

Short.

Powerful.

It’s one of those lessons that has served me well throughout my life, and I’ve passed it along more times than I can count.

At first, it sounds almost too simple.

Until you think about it.

How often do we answer questions that nobody asked?

Someone asks one question…

We answer five.

We start explaining.

Defending.

Adding details.

Trying to make sure everyone understands where we’re coming from.

Before long, we’ve talked ourselves into a corner.

I’ve learned that overexplaining can sometimes communicate something you never intended.

It can make you appear unsure of yourself.

It can make you sound defensive when no one was attacking you.

Sometimes it even raises questions people weren’t thinking about until you brought them up.

Now, let me be clear.

I’m not saying don’t communicate.

I’m not saying don’t provide context when it’s needed.

What I am saying is…

Be intentional with your words.

There’s confidence in simplicity.

There’s confidence in answering the question…

And stopping there.

I’ve noticed something else as I’ve gotten older.

People who are comfortable with themselves usually don’t feel the need to convince everyone.

They answer.

They listen.

And they’re okay with silence.

That wasn’t always easy for me.

As an overthinker, silence can feel like an invitation to keep talking.

Anybody else?

Or is it just me?

Sometimes I’d leave a conversation replaying everything I said and think,

“Why did I tell them all of that?”

Now I’ve learned something.

Not every thought needs to be spoken.

Not every explanation needs to be given.

Not every silence needs to be filled.

Sometimes the most confident thing you can do is trust that your answer was enough.

That little piece of advice has helped me in job interviews.

At work.

In conversations.

Even in relationships.

And every time I catch myself starting to ramble, I hear those words again.

Only answer the question that’s asked.

Funny how one sentence from years ago can still guide you today.

That’s the beauty of a good note.

It stays with you.

A Note for Today

Confidence isn’t always found in saying more. Sometimes it’s found in knowing when you’ve already said enough.

A Little Something to Think About…

Pay attention to your next few conversations. Do you answer the question…or do you answer three questions that were never asked? You might be surprised how peaceful and confident it feels to simply say what’s needed—and trust that it’s enough.

Until the next note,

Your Resident Overthinker
The Person Everyone Warned Me About

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Here’s another note from my overthinking mind.

Have you ever met someone long after everyone else already told you who they were?

You know how it goes.

“Oh…good luck with her.”

“She’s hard to get along with.”

“Don’t take it personally.”

“She’s mean.”

“She’s always starting something.”

That was exactly what happened when I started a new job years ago.

Before I even met my boss—let’s call her Susan—the ladies in the office had already painted a picture of who she was.

Difficult.

Mean.

Hard to talk to.

Always stirring the pot.

By the time I finally met her, I should’ve been nervous.

Instead…

I thought,

“Oh, this is going to be fun.”

Now before you judge me, hear me out.

I’ve always been fascinated by people.

I don’t just listen to what’s being said.

I watch.

I observe.

I pay attention to tone.

Body language.

The pauses between sentences.

Sometimes the story underneath the words tells you more than the words themselves.

So instead of deciding who Susan was before I met her, I decided to find out for myself.

And what I discovered surprised me.

She wasn’t the woman everyone described.

She was a woman carrying more than anyone realized.

She worked in a male-dominated field.

She had learned to be tough.

Confident.

Direct.

Maybe even guarded.

But underneath that exterior was someone incredibly sensitive.

As time went on, she began opening up to me.

She talked about her son and how worried she was about the direction his life was taking.

She talked about missing her parents.

She talked about her marriage.

She shared fears that most people in the office probably never knew she had.

The woman everyone called “mean” was simply a woman carrying burdens no one else could see.

That experience taught me something I’ll never forget.

People often judge someone’s personality without ever considering their story.

Maybe they’re not rude.

Maybe they’re overwhelmed.

Maybe they’re not cold.

Maybe they’re protecting a heart that’s been hurt before.

Maybe they’re not difficult.

Maybe they’re exhausted from always feeling like they have to prove themselves.

Now, let me be clear.

Not every person with a bad reputation is misunderstood.

Some people really are difficult.

Some people really do make poor choices.

But I’ve learned not to borrow someone else’s opinion before I’ve had a chance to form my own.

One conversation can completely change the way you see someone.

One act of kindness can reveal a side no one else has noticed.

One opportunity to listen instead of judge can remind us that every person has a story.

I’m grateful I didn’t let someone else’s experience become my expectation.

Because if I had, I would’ve missed the chance to know someone who taught me far more than she probably ever realized.

Sometimes the person everyone warns you about is simply waiting for someone to see them beyond the labels.

A Note for Today

People are more than the stories you’ve heard about them. Give them the opportunity to introduce themselves before you decide who they are.

A Little Something to Think About…

Is there someone you’ve formed an opinion about based on what someone else told you? If the opportunity comes, get to know them for yourself. You may discover a story you never expected.

Until the next note,

Your Resident Overthinker
One Thing We Don’t Talk About Enough Is the Importance of Good Friends

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Here’s another random thought from my overthinking mind.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about friendship.

Not the kind you had in high school.

Not the kind where you spent hours talking on the phone because there wasn’t much else to do.

I’m talking about the kind of friendships you need as a grown woman.

Especially once you reach your 40s.

We talk a lot about marriage.

We talk about motherhood.

We talk about careers.

We talk about taking care of our parents.

We talk about our children.

But we don’t talk enough about how important it is to have good friends.

Real friends.

The kind you can call when you’ve had one of those days.

Maybe work was stressful.

Maybe your teenager forgot their Chromebook…again.

Maybe you had an argument with someone.

Maybe you’re overwhelmed.

Maybe nothing is wrong at all and you just want someone to laugh with.

Of course we have our families.

Parents.

Siblings.

Cousins.

Aunts.

Uncles.

Grandparents.

And if you’re married, you probably tell your spouse a lot too.

But can I say something?

Your family doesn’t need to hear every single thought you have.

And your husband…

Bless him…

He doesn’t either.

Sometimes my husband is probably thinking, “Who else can she tell this story to?”

That’s where good friends come in.

There’s something special about having someone who knows you, supports you, cheers for you, and reminds you who you are when you’ve forgotten.

A friend who celebrates your wins as if they were her own.

A friend who tells you the truth with kindness.

A friend who listens without immediately trying to fix everything.

And here’s another observation I’ve made.

One friend doesn’t have to be everything.

Somehow we’ve convinced ourselves that one person should fill every role.

She doesn’t have to.

The friend you call to talk about marriage may not be the same friend you discuss books with.

The woman who loves gardening might not be interested in makeup.

Your business friend might not be your travel friend.

Your walking buddy might not be the person you process life’s deepest conversations with.

And that’s okay.

Friendship isn’t one-size-fits-all.

It’s okay to have different people who bring out different parts of who you are.

What matters is surrounding yourself with people who encourage your growth.

People who celebrate your dreams instead of competing with them.

People who leave you feeling lighter after a conversation instead of drained.

When we’re younger, we sometimes say things like,

“I don’t need anybody.”

“I don’t like people.”

“I’d rather be by myself.”

Now, don’t get me wrong.

You already know I’m a proud introvert.

I absolutely enjoy my alone time.

Honey, I protect my peace like it’s a full-time job.

But solitude and isolation aren’t the same thing.

Even introverts need community.

We all need people.

We were never meant to do life completely alone.

The goal isn’t to know everybody.

The goal is to find your people.

The ones who understand your heart.

The ones who pray for you.

The ones who clap when you win.

The ones who remind you that you’re stronger than you think.

If you have even one friend like that…

You’re richer than you know.

A Note for Today

Good friends don’t replace family—they remind us that life’s journey is lighter when we don’t have to carry it alone.

A Little Something to Think About:

Who is the friend you’re thankful for today? Send them a text and let them know why they matter to you. You never know how much someone might need to hear it.

Until the next note,

Your Resident Overthinker
You Don’t Need a Special Occasion to Become Her

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Today, I wore the dress.

Not to a wedding. Not to a brunch. Not to a birthday party.

Just to work.

A few days ago, I found a dress on clearance for $19.99. I’d been eyeing it for weeks. Truthfully, I’ve been buying clothes like that for a while now. Clothes that fit the woman I’m becoming instead of the woman I’ve always been.

The dress wasn’t really about the dress.

For the past few years, I’ve been reinventing myself.

Not just physically, although I’ve been working out and taking better care of my health. As a woman navigating midlife and perimenopause, I want to do everything I can to stay healthy and strong. But the changes have been deeper than that.

I’ve been growing emotionally.

Spiritually.

Mentally.

I’ve been learning who I am outside of old habits, old beliefs, and old versions of myself.

The funny thing is, sometimes becoming a new version of yourself starts with something as simple as getting dressed.

For months, I had excuses.

“I don’t have the right shoes.”

“I’ll wear it when I have somewhere special to go.”

“I’ll save it for another day.”

But yesterday, I decided something.

If I’m going to buy clothes for the woman I’m becoming, I need to start showing up as her.

No more waiting.

Yesterday, I wore a pair of pants I’d been saving.

Today, I wore the dress.

And if I’m being honest, I felt beautiful.

Confident.

Feminine.

I also felt a little nervous.

Part of me wondered if someone would say something.

As it turns out, someone did.

A woman walked into the office and asked, “Why are you so dressed up to sit in the office by yourself? Are you waiting on someone?”

I smiled and said, “No. I’m not dressed up.”

But her question stayed with me.

Why do we believe we need a reason to wear the dress?

Why do we think looking nice requires an occasion?

Why do we save our favorite clothes for someday?

Somewhere along the way, many of us stopped getting dressed because it made us feel good and started waiting for permission from an event, a holiday, a date, or another person.

We’ve become so accustomed to comfort that putting on real clothes can feel unusual.

But maybe the real question is this:

What if the occasion is simply being alive today?

What if becoming the woman you want to be doesn’t happen all at once?

What if it starts with small decisions?

The dress.

The shoes.

The confidence to stop waiting.

Because how we show up in the world often reflects how we see ourselves.

And when we begin to see ourselves differently, the world starts responding differently too.

Today’s lesson wasn’t about fashion.

It was about permission.

Permission to stop waiting for a special occasion.

Permission to wear the dress.

Permission to become her now.

A Note for Today

You don’t need a special occasion to become the woman you’re becoming.

A Little Something to Think About:

What’s one thing you’ve been saving for a “special occasion”? Wear it, use it, or enjoy it this week.

Until the next note,

Your Resident Overthinker
A Note from Your Resident Overthinker: If You Can Overthink the Worst, You Can Imagine the Best

Note 008

Can I let you in on something?

As your resident overthinker…

I know exactly how your mind works.

Because mine works the same way.

We can create an entire conversation before it even happens.

Matter of fact, we don’t just create it.

We cast the characters.

Write the script.

Pick the location.

Decide what everyone’s wearing.

And somehow…we already know who’s going to win the argument.

You know exactly what I’m talking about.

“He better not call me because if he says this…”

“I’m going to tell him…”

“And then he’s going to say…”

“And when he does…”

“…I’m going to say this.”

Meanwhile…

The phone hasn’t even rung.

Or maybe you’re driving to a family gathering.

You’ve already decided who’s going to make the slick comment.

Who’s going to get on your nerves.

Who’s going to ask the question you don’t want to answer.

By the time you pull into the driveway, you’re emotionally exhausted…

…from an argument that hasn’t even happened.

Now don’t act like I’m the only one.

We’re all friends here.

As overthinkers, we have a gift.

Yes, I said gift.

We have incredible imaginations.

We can see possibilities.

We can connect dots.

We can think ten steps ahead.

The problem isn’t that we think deeply.

The problem is where we direct those thoughts.

So let me ask you something.

If you’re capable of overthinking yourself into stress…

Why can’t you overthink yourself into hope?

If you can spend thirty minutes imagining the worst-case scenario…

Why not spend thirty minutes imagining the best one?

Imagine paying off the debt.

Imagine taking the trip you’ve always dreamed about.

Imagine making the difficult phone call and it going better than you expected.

Imagine finally cleaning out that closet you’ve been avoiding.

Imagine applying for the job.

Imagine starting the business.

Imagine walking into the interview with confidence.

Imagine forgiving yourself.

Imagine waking up tomorrow believing something good could happen.

Our minds are powerful.

The stories we tell ourselves matter.

And sometimes I wonder if we’ve underestimated our own ability to think ourselves into courage.

No, positive thinking doesn’t magically erase life’s challenges.

Bills still exist.

Hard conversations still need to happen.

Life still surprises us.

But our mindset changes how we walk through those moments.

Maybe that’s the note I wanted to leave with you today.

You already know how to overthink.

You’ve had years of practice.

Now practice overthinking the possibilities.

Practice imagining peace.

Practice expecting growth.

Practice believing that things can work out.

If your imagination is powerful enough to convince you of problems that don’t exist yet…

Just imagine what it could do if you pointed it toward hope instead.

A Note for Today

Your mind is always telling a story. Make sure it’s one that’s helping you move forward instead of holding you back.

A Little Something to Think About…

The next time you catch yourself rehearsing the worst-case scenario, pause and ask yourself: “What if this turns out better than I’m expecting?” Spend five minutes imagining that version instead.

Until the next note,

Your Resident Overthinker
The Message Is More Important Than the Messenger

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Here’s a note I’ve been carrying around for a while.

Actually…

I’ll leave it here for free.

The message is more important than the messenger.

Sit with that for a minute.

The older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve realized that one sentence has changed the way I move through life.

When we’re younger, we tend to decide whether we’ll listen based on who’s talking.

Do I like them?

Do I agree with them?

Do I respect them?

Do they live the kind of life I want?

And while those questions certainly have their place, I’ve learned something that has served me well.

Wisdom doesn’t always arrive in the package we expect.

Sometimes the person giving you the lesson isn’t someone you admire.

Sometimes it’s someone you disagree with.

Sometimes it’s a stranger.

Sometimes it’s a child.

Sometimes it’s someone on television.

Sometimes it’s a judge talking to a young man in a courtroom.

Sometimes it’s the cashier at the grocery store.

Sometimes it’s your own mother saying something she’s said a hundred times before, but suddenly…it finally clicks.

Life has a funny way of teaching us if we’re willing to pay attention.

I’ve always been fascinated by one-liners.

A sentence from a movie.

A comment in a conversation.

Something I overhear standing in line.

A quote from a news anchor.

A child asking an innocent question.

Most people hear it and move on.

Me?

I carry it around for days.

There goes my overthinking again.

But I’ve realized that’s one of the gifts of being an overthinker.

We don’t just hear words.

We look for meaning.

One of the reasons I started Overthinkers Notes is because I believe everyday life is constantly handing us little pieces of wisdom.

The challenge is slowing down long enough to notice them.

Now, don’t misunderstand me.

I’m not saying every piece of advice is good advice.

Please don’t believe everything you hear.

You already know how I feel about filtering information.

Use wisdom.

Use discernment.

Trust your judgment.

But don’t dismiss a valuable lesson simply because you don’t like the person delivering it.

That’s where we sometimes miss out.

I’ve learned confidence from an HR representative after my father’s passing.

I’ve learned patience from my children.

I’ve learned grace from my husband.

I’ve learned courage from complete strangers.

I’ve even learned what not to do by watching other people’s mistakes.

That’s a lesson too.

Every person you meet knows something you don’t.

Every season has something to teach you.

Every experience—good or bad—leaves behind a note if you’re willing to look for it.

As we grow…

As we heal…

As we mature…

I hope we never become so convinced that we know everything that we stop learning from ordinary people living ordinary lives.

Because sometimes the greatest wisdom doesn’t come from an expert.

Sometimes it comes from a sentence you almost ignored.

A Note for Today

Never become so focused on the messenger that you miss the message. Wisdom has a way of finding us through the most unexpected people.

A Little Something to Think About…

What’s one sentence someone said years ago that you still carry with you today? Maybe it’s time to thank them—or maybe it’s time to pass that note on to someone else.

Until the next note,

Your Resident Overthinker
Here’s a Note Worth Keeping: You Get More with Honey Than Vinegar

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I heard something recently that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about.

Imagine that.

There’s my overthinking again.

I was watching a video where a judge was talking to a young man about his behavior and his temper.

As he tried to encourage him, he kept repeating the same sentence over and over.

“You get more with honey than vinegar.”

He didn’t say it once.

He said it three times.

And for some reason, it stuck with me.

You know how certain words just refuse to leave your mind?

That’s what this one did.

A few days later, I found myself saying those exact words to my daughter.

We were talking about life, people, and how to navigate this sometimes crazy world.

Without even thinking, I said,

“You get more with honey than vinegar.”

Then I smiled.

Because I realized I had just passed along the same note that someone else had unknowingly passed to me.

Isn’t that funny?

That’s how wisdom travels.

One conversation at a time.

The older I get, the more I realize how much our attitude matters.

Sometimes we spend so much time talking about what we didn’t get.

Who didn’t help us.

Who overlooked us.

Who didn’t give us a chance.

And while those things certainly happen, I also think it’s worth asking ourselves another question.

Am I leading with honey…or vinegar?

Am I kind?

Am I approachable?

Am I patient?

Do I speak to people with respect, even when I don’t have to?

Kindness is one of the few things in life that’s completely free.

It doesn’t cost anything to smile.

It doesn’t cost anything to say “thank you.”

It doesn’t cost anything to be polite.

Yet those little things can completely change the direction of your day.

People naturally want to help someone who makes them feel seen and appreciated.

Doors open.

Conversations happen.

Opportunities appear.

Not because you’re pretending to be someone you’re not.

But because kindness has a way of making people feel safe around you.

Now, before someone says, “Well, I’ve been kind and people still treated me unfairly…”

Absolutely.

That happens.

Being kind doesn’t guarantee that everyone else will be.

Some people will still disappoint you.

Some people will still misunderstand you.

Some people will still choose vinegar.

But don’t let someone else’s bitterness convince you to become bitter too.

Because here’s the thought that stayed with me.

Vinegar has a strong smell.

Honey is sweet.

One pushes people away.

The other has a way of drawing people in.

Maybe that’s what the judge was trying to teach that young man.

And maybe it’s a note worth keeping for all of us.

In a world where everyone seems to be in a hurry, frustrated, or quick to react, choosing kindness is still one of the most powerful decisions we can make.

A Note for Today

Lead with honey whenever you can. Kindness won’t solve every problem, but it will open doors that bitterness never will.

A Little Something to Think About…

When was the last time someone’s kindness made your day a little brighter? This week, be that person for someone else. A smile, a thank-you, or a few encouraging words might become the note they carry with them.

Until the next note,

Your Resident Overthinker
Give Yourself Some Grace

Note 005

Can we talk about something for a minute?

Everybody is an expert these days.

Everybody.

Open social media and within five minutes you’ll find someone teaching you how to lose weight, make money, raise children, start a business, build a brand, heal your inner child, become a millionaire, and organize your pantry—all before lunch.

It’s exhausting.

And if you’re not careful, you can start believing you’re behind.

Not doing enough.

Doing the wrong thing.

Moving too slow.

Making the wrong choices.

Not making enough money.

Not accomplishing enough.

Not becoming enough.

Social media has a funny way of making ordinary people feel like they’re failing at life.

But here’s the thing I’ve learned.

Most of what you’re seeing isn’t the whole story.

It’s filtered.

Edited.

Packaged.

Marketed.

And sometimes completely unrealistic.

Now don’t get me wrong.

There is some great content out there.

I’ve learned a lot online.

But I’ve also learned to consume content with a healthy amount of skepticism.

As my mama would say:

Take it with a grain of salt.

Actually, these days I might need the whole salt shaker.

Because some of these claims are getting ridiculous.

“Do these three exercises and get snatched in seven days.”

Ma’am.

No.

“Eat this meal plan and lose 100 pounds by next Tuesday.”

Please stop.

“Create one journal, upload it to Amazon, and make $10,000 this weekend.”

If it were that easy, we’d all be retired.

And while we’re at it, can we stop acting like success happens overnight?

Because it doesn’t.

Not the kind that lasts.

You don’t lose a significant amount of weight in a healthy way overnight.

You don’t build a thriving business overnight.

You don’t write one blog post and become famous overnight.

You don’t upload one product and become a millionaire by Friday.

What you don’t see are the months.

The years.

The mistakes.

The learning curves.

The failures.

The consistency.

The showing up when nobody is watching.

The boring middle.

Everybody wants the result.

Very few people want the process.

But the process is where everything happens.

The older I get, the more I appreciate slow growth.

Slow growth is sustainable.

Slow growth teaches you something.

Slow growth gives you time to become the person capable of handling the thing you’re working toward.

And honestly?

That’s where the real reward is.

So if you’ve been scrolling lately and feeling like everyone else has life figured out while you’re still trying to remember why you walked into the kitchen, let me remind you of something.

You are not behind.

You are not failing.

You are not late.

You are living your life, on your timeline, in your season.

And that’s enough.

Trust yourself.

Use your judgment.

Question things that sound too good to be true.

And remember that most worthwhile things take time.

There’s an old saying that goes something like:

Anything worth having is worth working for.

I may have butchered it a little, but you get the point.

The good stuff takes time.

A Note for Today

Don’t compare your real life to someone else’s highlight reel. Most worthwhile things are built slowly, one day at a time.

Until the next note,

Your Resident Overthinker
Just Because the Content Finds You Doesn’t Mean It’s About You

Note 004

Can I share another overthinker observation?

Lately, I’ve noticed something.

Ever since I turned 40, my social media feeds have completely changed.

Suddenly I’m seeing…

“Things no one tells you about turning 40.”

“Signs you’re in perimenopause.”

“Makeup mistakes women over 40 make.”

“Skincare for mature skin.”

“Five things every woman over 40 needs.”

And while some of that information can absolutely be helpful, I’ve also started noticing something else.

Turning 40 has become a content niche.

Now before anyone gets defensive, hear me out.

I’m not saying the creators are wrong.

I’m not saying women don’t experience changes.

We absolutely do.

Our bodies change.

Our hormones change.

Our skin changes.

Life changes.

But here’s what I’ve learned.

Just because you’re 40 doesn’t automatically mean every piece of “over 40” content applies to you.

Every woman’s body is different.

Every woman’s hormones are different.

Every woman’s skin is different.

Every woman’s experience is different.

I’ve even had conversations with women younger than me who are convinced they’re in perimenopause because of something they watched online.

Maybe they are.

Maybe they aren’t.

The point is, social media can sometimes make us believe we’re experiencing things before we’ve even stopped to ask if they’re actually true for us.

I catch myself doing it too.

I’ll watch a video and think,

“Wait… should I be worried about that?”

Then I have to remind myself…

Just because someone is talking about it doesn’t mean it’s my reality.

One thing I’ve learned over the years is to filter what I consume.

Not reject it.

Filter it.

Take what makes sense.

Leave what doesn’t.

If something resonates with you, great.

If it helps you, wonderful.

If it encourages you to ask better questions or have a conversation with your doctor, that’s valuable too.

But don’t let every video convince you something is wrong with you simply because you reached a certain birthday.

Age is not a diagnosis.

And social media is not your personal medical chart.

The older I get, the more I realize that wisdom isn’t believing everything you hear.

Wisdom is learning how to filter it.

So if you’re in your 40s like me, here’s my encouragement.

Learn.

Stay curious.

Take care of yourself.

Ask questions.

But don’t let the algorithm tell you who you are.

You know your body better than a 60-second video ever could.

A Note for Today

Not every piece of content is meant for you. Take what serves you, question what doesn’t, and trust yourself enough to know the difference.

Until the next note,

Your Resident Overthinker