Note 057
I heard another one-liner recently while watching a video, and I immediately wrote it down.
The woman was talking to a young woman who was unhappy with the way she looked and didn’t seem confident in herself.
And the advice she gave her was so simple:
“Anything you’re insecure about, work on it.”
That’s it.
Simple.
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized how much truth there was in that little sentence.
Because sometimes we spend so much time thinking about what we don’t like about ourselves that we forget something important:
We are not completely powerless.
There may be something we can do.
If there’s something about yourself you don’t like, ask yourself what you can actually do about it.
Maybe you aren’t happy with your health.
There may be changes you can work toward with the way you’re eating, moving your body, sleeping, or taking care of yourself.
Maybe you don’t like your hair.
Try a different cut.
A different color.
Extensions.
A new style.
Maybe you don’t like the way you dress.
Experiment.
Try something different.
Figure out what makes you feel like yourself.
Maybe you’re unhappy with your finances.
Could you pick up some extra work?
Learn a new skill?
Freelance?
Sell things you no longer use?
Revisit your budget?
Start working toward a different career?
Maybe you’re unhappy with where you are professionally.
Update the resume.
Take the class.
Apply for the job.
Make the phone call.
Start the business.
Learn something you’ve been putting off.
Maybe you’re feeling emotionally stuck.
Write.
Journal.
Pray.
Meditate.
Talk to someone you trust.
Talk to a therapist.
Talk to your pastor.
Take a walk.
Start somewhere.
I’m not saying everything is that easy.
It isn’t.
Some things take time.
Some things require help.
Some things are outside of our control.
And sometimes there are circumstances we didn’t choose and can’t simply “work our way out of.”
So this isn’t about blaming yourself for every problem in your life.
It’s about recognizing the things where you do have some influence.
Because I think sometimes we forget how much agency we actually have.
We don’t have to sit around waiting for our lives to magically feel different.
Sometimes we have to participate in the change we’re hoping for.
And that includes confidence.
This is the part that really stuck with me.
The woman in the video wasn’t telling the young woman to hate herself until she became someone else.
She was essentially saying:
If there’s something you want to change, work on it.
And I think there’s a healthy difference between:
“I hate myself, so I need to change.”
and
“I care about myself enough to work on the things I want to improve.”
One comes from punishment.
The other can come from self-respect.
You can love yourself today and still want something different for yourself tomorrow.
You can appreciate your body and still work on your health.
You can accept where you are financially and still work toward having more.
You can be proud of who you are and still want to grow.
Growth doesn’t require self-hatred.
You are in the driver’s seat.
Maybe that’s the real reminder I took from this one-liner.
You don’t control everything that happens to you.
You don’t control other people.
You don’t control every circumstance.
You don’t get to choose every hand you’re dealt.
But there are parts of your life where you can pick up the steering wheel and say:
Okay. What can I do from here?
And sometimes the answer is small.
Very small.
Drink more water.
Take a walk.
Put down the extra sugar.
Cook one meal at home.
Clean one drawer.
Apply for one job.
Save $20.
Read five pages.
Make the appointment.
Put on the outfit.
Try the hairstyle.
Have the conversation.
Open the journal.
Make the plan.
Take the first step.
It doesn’t have to fix everything.
It just has to move you.
Stop underestimating small changes.
We sometimes think change has to be dramatic.
New year.
New body.
New career.
New house.
New life.
But most of the time, change happens much more quietly than that.
One decision.
Then another.
Then another.
You start doing something differently.
You keep doing it.
Eventually, you look around and realize:
I’m not where I started.
And maybe that’s what I want this reminder to be.
Not:
Fix everything that’s wrong with you.
But:
What are you unhappy with that you can actually work on?
And what would happen if, instead of repeatedly thinking about it, you started doing something about it?
A Note for Today
If there’s something about your life, your habits, your appearance, your finances, your career, your relationships, or your personal growth that you’re unhappy with, pause before you simply accept it as “This is just how things are.”
Ask yourself:
Is there something I can work on?
Maybe there is.
And if there is, you don’t have to change everything today.
Pick one thing.
Work on it.
Give yourself time.
Get help when you need it.
Give yourself grace when you don’t get it right.
But remember:
You are not just a passenger in your own life.
You get a say.
You get to make choices.
You get to grow.
You get to change your mind.
You get to try again.
And you get to work toward becoming the version of yourself you want to meet.
You’re in the driver’s seat.
So what are you going to work on?
Until the next note,
Your Resident Overthinker 🤎