Note 059
I had a moment the other day that made me look at my husband and say, “I’ve been influenced.”
And the funny thing is, I wasn’t watching an influencer.
I was watching my recorded soap opera.
Now, if you’ve been around Overthinkers Notes for a while, you know I have a habit of finding life lessons in the most unexpected places. Sometimes it’s a conversation, sometimes it’s a random comment, and sometimes it’s something happening on a television show.
This time, it was the wardrobe.
Let me explain.
One of the things I’ve noticed about the women on this particular soap opera is that they aren’t afraid to stand out.
While so much of the fashion conversation over the last few years has centered on neutrals, minimalism, quiet luxury, and the whole “less is more” aesthetic, these women are doing something different.
Color. And more color.
Hair with volume and texture. Statement jewelry. Mixed prints. Bold combinations. Outfits that make you stop and look.
They seem comfortable taking up space with their style.
And I found myself admiring that.
Then, one day, one of the women wore a pair of boots that I could not stop looking at.
I mean, I wanted those boots.
I searched for them online but couldn’t find the exact pair. Then I discovered that the show’s cast shares details about the wardrobe pieces they wear in each episode.
Well, you can imagine where that led.
I’ve done this more than once by now. I’ve looked up pieces I’ve seen on the show, and I even purchased a sweater inspired by one of the episodes.
After realizing what I’d done, I looked at my husband and said:
“I’ve been influenced.”
And I laughed.
But then I started thinking about it.
Because there was a lesson here that had very little to do with boots or sweaters.
We Don’t Always Realize When We’re Being Influenced
When we talk about being influenced, we tend to picture someone scrolling through social media, watching an influencer promote a product, or listening to someone tell us what we need to buy to look better, feel better, or live better.
And certainly, that happens.
But influence doesn’t always arrive with a sales pitch.
Sometimes it comes through entertainment.
A television show.
A movie.
A conversation.
A friend.
A coworker.
A person whose lifestyle we admire.
We see something, like it, and begin imagining how it might look in our own lives.
We might not even be looking to buy anything.
We’re just watching a show.
Then suddenly, we’re searching for the boots.
Or buying the sweater.
Or reconsidering our wardrobe.
And before we know it, something we saw has influenced a decision we made.
That’s what happened to me.
I wasn’t sitting down intending to shop. I wasn’t looking for fashion inspiration. I was watching my soap opera.
But something caught my attention, and I acted on it.
Influence doesn’t always feel like influence while it’s happening.
You Can Be Strong-Minded and Still Be Influenced
I think this is the part worth sitting with.
We like to believe we’re strong-minded people.
We know what we like. We make our own decisions. We aren’t easily persuaded by what other people say or do.
And maybe that’s true in many areas of our lives.
But being independent doesn’t mean we’re immune to influence.
We are constantly exposed to ideas, images, lifestyles, opinions, and products. Some of them affect us consciously. Others might influence us without us immediately recognizing it.
Something catches our attention.
We become curious.
We start imagining ourselves with it, doing it, wearing it, or living that way.
And sometimes, we act.
That doesn’t mean we’re weak-minded.
It means we’re human.
We’re allowed to admire things. We’re allowed to discover new interests. We’re allowed to change our minds and try something different.
The lesson isn’t that every influence is bad.
The lesson is that we should be aware of what’s influencing us and why.
Inspiration or Influence? Maybe It’s Both.
Now, I don’t regret looking up those boots.
And I don’t regret buying the sweater.
I like fashion. I enjoy getting dressed. And seeing these women wear bold colors and interesting combinations has reminded me that personal style doesn’t have to be so predictable.
Maybe I really do want to experiment more with color.
Maybe I want to be a little bolder with my clothes.
Maybe I saw something that inspired me to try something I wouldn’t have considered before.
There’s nothing wrong with that.
But there’s a difference between intentionally taking inspiration from something you admire and automatically feeling like you need to recreate it.
One comes from curiosity.
The other can come from comparison, pressure, or the feeling that we’re missing something.
And sometimes the two can be difficult to distinguish.
That’s why I think it’s worth asking ourselves a few questions.
Do I actually like this, or do I like how it looks on someone else?
Would I want this if I hadn’t seen it?
Does it fit my style, my life, and my budget?
Am I interested because it genuinely appeals to me, or because I’ve seen it repeatedly?
Am I choosing this for myself, or am I trying to become someone I’ve been watching?
We don’t need to interrogate every purchase or turn getting dressed into a psychological exercise. Lord knows I can overthink enough as it is.
But every now and then, it’s worth pausing long enough to recognize what’s happening.
The Goal Isn’t to Stop Being Influenced. It’s to Become More Aware.
I don’t think we can go through life without being influenced by other people.
We learn from people.
We discover things through people.
We get ideas from people.
Sometimes another person’s choices introduce us to something that genuinely improves our lives.
That’s part of being connected to the world around us.
But I do think we can become more intentional about what we allow to shape our decisions.
We can enjoy social media without believing we need everything we see.
We can admire someone’s home without feeling that ours is inadequate.
We can appreciate someone’s body, wardrobe, career, marriage, or lifestyle without using it as a measuring stick for our own.
We can be inspired by someone else’s confidence without deciding there’s something wrong with who we are.
And we can enjoy a television show without realizing we’ve developed a shopping list. Well, most of the time.
The point is to notice.
Notice what keeps catching your attention.
Notice what makes you feel as though you’re missing something.
Notice what makes you want to spend money, change your appearance, or alter your lifestyle.
Notice when inspiration starts turning into pressure.
And then decide what, if anything, you want to do about it.
You don’t have to reject every influence. You just don’t have to accept every influence unexamined.
A Note for Today
So, yes. Even the Resident Overthinker gets influenced.
I saw the boots. I wanted the boots. I searched for the boots. And although I didn’t find them, I found the wardrobe information and eventually bought a sweater.
Case closed.
But the experience reminded me that self-awareness isn’t just about recognizing our emotions or understanding why we react to certain people.
It’s also about noticing the things that shape our preferences, choices, and desires.
Sometimes the most useful question isn’t, “Am I being influenced?”
It’s:
“What is influencing me, and am I making a conscious choice about it?”
You can be strong-minded and still be influenced.
You can be confident and still admire someone else.
You can be happy with your life and still want something new.
The goal isn’t to live in a bubble or stop enjoying what you see.
It’s to know yourself well enough to recognize when something has caught your attention—and decide whether it deserves a place in your life.
Because being self-aware doesn’t mean you never get influenced.
It means you notice when you are.
And sometimes, that realization starts with a pair of boots on a soap opera.
Until the next note,
Your Resident Overthinker 🤎