Note 012
I was watching QVC yesterday.
And before anyone says anything…
Yes, I’m a QVC shopper.
I love it.
Don’t judge me.
There’s something relaxing about watching people get excited over cookware, handbags, and skincare.
Anyway…
The host did something fun.
She asked the viewers the question of the day.
“What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given?”
People started calling in and sharing answers.
And you know my overthinking mind…
Immediately I thought,
“Hmmmmmm…”
I’ve been given a lot of good advice over the years.
Some from my parents.
Some from complete strangers.
Some from people who probably don’t even realize how much their words stayed with me.
But one piece of advice immediately came to mind.
I heard it when I was in high school.
“Only answer the question that’s asked.”
Simple.
Short.
Powerful.
It’s one of those lessons that has served me well throughout my life, and I’ve passed it along more times than I can count.
At first, it sounds almost too simple.
Until you think about it.
How often do we answer questions that nobody asked?
Someone asks one question…
We answer five.
We start explaining.
Defending.
Adding details.
Trying to make sure everyone understands where we’re coming from.
Before long, we’ve talked ourselves into a corner.
I’ve learned that overexplaining can sometimes communicate something you never intended.
It can make you appear unsure of yourself.
It can make you sound defensive when no one was attacking you.
Sometimes it even raises questions people weren’t thinking about until you brought them up.
Now, let me be clear.
I’m not saying don’t communicate.
I’m not saying don’t provide context when it’s needed.
What I am saying is…
Be intentional with your words.
There’s confidence in simplicity.
There’s confidence in answering the question…
And stopping there.
I’ve noticed something else as I’ve gotten older.
People who are comfortable with themselves usually don’t feel the need to convince everyone.
They answer.
They listen.
And they’re okay with silence.
That wasn’t always easy for me.
As an overthinker, silence can feel like an invitation to keep talking.
Anybody else?
Or is it just me?
Sometimes I’d leave a conversation replaying everything I said and think,
“Why did I tell them all of that?”
Now I’ve learned something.
Not every thought needs to be spoken.
Not every explanation needs to be given.
Not every silence needs to be filled.
Sometimes the most confident thing you can do is trust that your answer was enough.
That little piece of advice has helped me in job interviews.
At work.
In conversations.
Even in relationships.
And every time I catch myself starting to ramble, I hear those words again.
Only answer the question that’s asked.
Funny how one sentence from years ago can still guide you today.
That’s the beauty of a good note.
It stays with you.
A Note for Today
Confidence isn’t always found in saying more. Sometimes it’s found in knowing when you’ve already said enough.
A Little Something to Think About…
Pay attention to your next few conversations. Do you answer the question…or do you answer three questions that were never asked? You might be surprised how peaceful and confident it feels to simply say what’s needed—and trust that it’s enough.
Until the next note,
Your Resident Overthinker
Overthinker’s Notes 