Note 011
Here’s another note from my overthinking mind.
Have you ever met someone long after everyone else already told you who they were?
You know how it goes.
“Oh…good luck with her.”
“She’s hard to get along with.”
“Don’t take it personally.”
“She’s mean.”
“She’s always starting something.”
That was exactly what happened when I started a new job years ago.
Before I even met my boss—let’s call her Susan—the ladies in the office had already painted a picture of who she was.
Difficult.
Mean.
Hard to talk to.
Always stirring the pot.
By the time I finally met her, I should’ve been nervous.
Instead…
I thought,
“Oh, this is going to be fun.”
Now before you judge me, hear me out.
I’ve always been fascinated by people.
I don’t just listen to what’s being said.
I watch.
I observe.
I pay attention to tone.
Body language.
The pauses between sentences.
Sometimes the story underneath the words tells you more than the words themselves.
So instead of deciding who Susan was before I met her, I decided to find out for myself.
And what I discovered surprised me.
She wasn’t the woman everyone described.
She was a woman carrying more than anyone realized.
She worked in a male-dominated field.
She had learned to be tough.
Confident.
Direct.
Maybe even guarded.
But underneath that exterior was someone incredibly sensitive.
As time went on, she began opening up to me.
She talked about her son and how worried she was about the direction his life was taking.
She talked about missing her parents.
She talked about her marriage.
She shared fears that most people in the office probably never knew she had.
The woman everyone called “mean” was simply a woman carrying burdens no one else could see.
That experience taught me something I’ll never forget.
People often judge someone’s personality without ever considering their story.
Maybe they’re not rude.
Maybe they’re overwhelmed.
Maybe they’re not cold.
Maybe they’re protecting a heart that’s been hurt before.
Maybe they’re not difficult.
Maybe they’re exhausted from always feeling like they have to prove themselves.
Now, let me be clear.
Not every person with a bad reputation is misunderstood.
Some people really are difficult.
Some people really do make poor choices.
But I’ve learned not to borrow someone else’s opinion before I’ve had a chance to form my own.
One conversation can completely change the way you see someone.
One act of kindness can reveal a side no one else has noticed.
One opportunity to listen instead of judge can remind us that every person has a story.
I’m grateful I didn’t let someone else’s experience become my expectation.
Because if I had, I would’ve missed the chance to know someone who taught me far more than she probably ever realized.
Sometimes the person everyone warns you about is simply waiting for someone to see them beyond the labels.
A Note for Today
People are more than the stories you’ve heard about them. Give them the opportunity to introduce themselves before you decide who they are.
A Little Something to Think About…
Is there someone you’ve formed an opinion about based on what someone else told you? If the opportunity comes, get to know them for yourself. You may discover a story you never expected.
Until the next note,
Your Resident Overthinker
Overthinker’s Notes 