Note 017
Here’s another random note from my overthinking mind.
If you’re a mom, this one might resonate with you.
Lately, I’ve found myself saying something to my husband over and over again.
“I have to let them go.”
Not forever.
Just enough.
Enough for them to grow.
Enough for them to make their own decisions.
Enough for them to learn lessons that I simply can’t learn for them.
Our oldest is 20 and in college.
The other two are in high school.
And if I’m honest, they’re still my babies.
I know…
They’re probably rolling their eyes if they ever read this.
But once you’re a mom, I don’t think that part ever changes.
No matter how old they get, a part of you still sees the little faces that used to ask you for one more bedtime story.
For years, being “Mom” meant solving problems.
Finding missing shoes.
Packing lunches.
Helping with homework.
Making appointments.
Giving advice.
Fixing things.
Being the safety net.
And somewhere along the way, I realized…
I’ve become really good at catching them.
Maybe a little too good.
Because here’s the hard truth I’m learning.
If I catch them every single time, they never learn how to catch themselves.
Ouch.
That one got me too.
Now don’t get me wrong.
I’m still their mom.
I’m still cheering them on.
I’m still praying for them.
I’m still one phone call away.
But I’m learning that loving them doesn’t always mean rescuing them.
Sometimes love looks like stepping back.
Letting them make the decision.
Letting them experience the consequence.
Letting them solve the problem.
Even when every fiber of my being wants to jump in and fix it.
Can we talk about how hard that is?
Because nobody prepares you for this part of motherhood.
We spend years teaching them to walk.
Then one day we have to trust them to find their own path.
That’s a different kind of courage.
This isn’t parenting advice.
I’m not an expert.
I’m just a mom who’s learning, one season at a time.
And maybe this note is for another mom who needs the reminder as much as I do.
Your job was never to keep them from every mistake.
Your job was to prepare them for life.
Sometimes that means allowing them to make a decision you wouldn’t have made.
Sometimes it means letting them experience disappointment.
Sometimes it means watching from the sidelines instead of stepping onto the field.
As much as I want to keep my babies close, I also want them to become capable adults.
I want them to think for themselves.
Trust themselves.
Learn from life.
And eventually become someone’s safe place the way I’ve tried to be theirs.
So yes…
I’ll probably still text them to make sure they ate.
I’ll probably still ask if they have a jacket.
Some things about motherhood never change.
But I’m also learning to loosen my grip just enough to let them spread their wings.
Because that’s what we raised them to do.
A Note for Today
One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is the confidence to live without needing us to solve everything for them.
A Little Something To Think About:
Is there one decision you’ve been making for your child that they’re ready to make themselves?
Until the next note,
Your Resident Overthinker